User blog:Forevergent777/My AU Fanfic Discussion, Part 1

Hello, this is Forevergent777 here. Recently, I have posted a comment about writing an AU fanfic. Here's what the comment entailed:

'''Looking back at this series, there are lots of issues that are never correctly addressed and/or resolved. Then again, this is an H-game, so of course it focuses more on fetishes than the story.'''

I'm still in the planning stage of my fic, but here's the basic premise and a few description of the main characters:

'''Plot: Luka (not shota) is on a quest to help bring humans and monsters closer and stop their war against one another, as the monsters are always attacking humans and the humans are retaliating. The humans, however, are on an equal footing with the monsters. While the monsters have strong magic and physical skills, the humans make up for it with their growing knowledge, increasing usage of magic, and development of technology, especially weaponry. On a chance meeting, he encounters Alice, the Monster Lord, and both travel the world, discovering the different issues at every towns, villages, and other areas. Along the way, the secret pasts of the two are revealed, showing what personal stakes the two have in their journey.'''

'''Luka (later revealed an angel/human hybrid) lost his parents at an early age and was raised by Monsters, then humans. The Monsters, mainly Tamamo and Alma Elma, raised him out of pity and because of Tamamo's partnership with Luka's parents. Though Luka had bonded with the Monsters akin to a family, he started to see the wrongdoings of some Monsters as he grew up. Frustrated that the Heavenly Knights and the Monster Lord (who he hasn't met during his stay with the Monsters) aren't doing anything (at least, not doing anything that will have positive influence), he escaped from them with the help of a human who surprisingly knows a lot of magic and combat skills and was raised under his tutelage. Luka will not only use his swordsmanship skills during the journey, but also physical skills, mainly martial arts.'''

Alice will pretty much be the same, but her flaws will also be addressed (harshly in mid-story), such as her unwillingness to intervene in a human/monster conflict and when a Monster twists her order (leave the humans alone unless it's in retaliation or self-defense) to further their own goals.

'''The Heavenly Knights have a past with Luka during his childhood. Tamamo and Alma Elma were the ones who were close to him and raised him, but a terrible event (I cannot reveal it just yet) caused a rift between Luka and the two, which will be developed and resolved near the end. Erubetie, at first, hated him as much as any other humans and mistreated him. However, as time went on, Luka showed dedication and care to the Slime race and Erubetie slowly (and I mean SLOWLY) grew to appreciate and love Luka, but that will be the near end. Granberia didn't care much for Luka, as she only cared about being a strong warrior. However, when she noticed Luka's growing strength throughout his journey, she began to feel a rising affection for him, which he won't return for personal reasons.'''

The humans will have advantages over the Monsters, such as their proficiency in technology and the understanding of some of the Monsters' weaknesses, so that they're not hopeless and that they have a fighting chance.

'''The Monsters will, for the most part, have conflicted morals, but the readers will get an understanding that most of them will not fight (or have fun) to kill (at least, I hope so). Though their skills and abilities are the same from the original series, they will have different weaknesses that can and will be exploited, for better or worse.'''

'''Some side characters will involve both humans and Monsters. The humans will mostly be male, as Luka needs companions who he can truly relate to (as great as it sounds, I think Luka would go crazy if his companions were only female). The Monsters will consist of either childhood friends or friends he makes along his journey.'''

'''If you're interested and want to know more, let me know how I can PM you so that I can share more and gain feedback. I'd love to work on this fanfic during the summer, as I've gotten the planning part mostly done.'''

Now here's where I put my reasons for why I am planning to write this series in this manner.

1) The Characters:


 * One thing that really peeved me off about this series is that there was so much potential with its wide variety of characters.  You had the main characters with their tragic backstories and their journey to not only help everyone else, but to overcome their own demons to make their dreams a reality.  Other than that, everything else felt like a huge opportunity wasted, or rather neglected so that the series can focus more on the fetishes.  I know this is an H-game, but if you're going to throw in very controversial and interesting subjects for everyone else to read and watch, then you should go all the way through properly.


 * Instead, we have Luka, who has WAY too much tolerance for a species that can easily kill his own kind, some who won't stop because they proclaim that it's so much fun.  The Monster Girls who have this line of thinking and never changed from it are never addressed again at the end, except for some who are under the half-assed explanations that they either changed their ways, are locked up, or never seen again.  Granted, some Monster Girls like to live in peace with the humans, which is fine, and that Luka is hesitant to kill, which is also fine.  But the fact that they are never seen again so that the existing issue of continuous hostility of Monster Girls can be fully addressed and resolved really makes me feel that this is one of the many loose ends that the writers didn't even care to tie up.


 * Then we also have Alice, your typical Tsundere character who has her own personal demons and developments.  I understand that the character, especially in the beginning, is supposed to be unlikeable, and I wouldn't have minded if she was unlikeable in that she kept eating his food and had a cold, distant personality.  However, what really peeves me off about her character, even to this day, is her lack of involvment from the get-go and her confusing goals.  This character is supposed to be the ruler of all the Monster Girls, yet all she does is give one order and expect her suboordinates to follow her.  Even when there are clear signs displayed to her that her suboordinates aren't following her order to the letter or sometimes twisting it around to further their own goals, she still doesn't intervene to reprimand her suboordinates.  Sure, she intervened in the fight against Cassandra, the Beelzebubs, and most of Chapter 3, but here's the problem.  In the early chapters, all she does is let Luka do all the work while she does little to none, yet she still gets as much credit as Luka.  On top of that, the times she intervened in the first two chapters had to do with personal reasons as much as worldwide reasons.  Other times, such as Granberia disobeying her initial order, the Harpies kidnapping the humans, or Alma Elma attacking ordinary fishermen along with the Heroes, she doesn't even do a thing about, even though it CLEARLY contrasts with her order to leave the humans alone unless in self-defense.  Granted, the Harpy race had a good reason, but the fact that it's causing distress between the two and that she didn't do anything about it, or give Luka some insight as to why the Harpies are doing what they're doing frustrates me to no end.  But Alice's unwillingness to intervene properly doesn't just limit to her.


 * The Heavenly Knights are also another one of my issues.  We have Tamamo, who has a partnership with Micaela and possibly Lucifina.  She was described to have been doing most of the work in terms of helping with the coexistence effort during the game.  So where the heck was she in all the places that Luka went to and that it clearly had problems with coexistence?  I don't care how childish she's supposed to be because of her looks and personality, but the fact that one of the most powerful beings in the game has all this responsibility and yet barely does anything until Chapter 3 (and even then, she doesn't do a whole lot) makes me turn away from liking the most well-received character in the game by other fans.  Then there's also the partnership between her and Micaela.  It's clear when it was first revealed, Luka was surprised but Tamamo wasn't.  She acted as though she knew of Luka's lineage and the role he would play in future events, especially against Ilias.  So why would she let him die if Luka lost to some of the Monster Girls he fought at the Monster Lord Castle?  Why does she pick a half-assed solution to a human/Monster coexistence problem if she fully knew of the impact the situation has on everyone?  Why does she leave Luka to his horrible fate if he loses, even though it's clear to everyone that Luka is fighting for a good cause for the right reason?  However, Tamamo isn't the only HK I have issues with.


 * Granberia, in what little we've seen of her, passes off to me as a brute.  She doesn't do her job for the majority of the time we've seen her, at least in terms of the human/Monster coexistence.  She was seen to protect Sara when something bad was about to happen to her, not once, but twice.  So Granberia would protect Sara from a hungry Scorpion Girl and a hostile Queen Elf, but she won't do anything against her peers that are hurting innocent people?  She'll save Sara from being sucked dry, but she won't stop Alma Elma from drowning a few fishermen (It's stated that she goes after a few fishermen.  Even if she lets them live, what's to say that her storm didn't kill them?)?  Granberia's lack of involvement bugs me as much as the lack of real involvement of the other HK and Alice.  Trust me, I'll get to the other HK right now.


 * Erubetie, believe it or not, is the HK I have the least problems with.  I still have problems, but it's not because of her lack of involvement as a HK, more as it is her character portrayal at the end.  We all know her character as this recluse who is ruthless against the humans because they've been polluting the environment, mostly the rivers.  She would mercilessly take their lives if they got near rather than getting directly involved in confronting them about the issue.  Strangely enough, this is the more believable scenario, which is why I don't have too much problems with how she's portrayed here.  The problem with the polluting rivers and Erubetie retaliating by hurting even the innocent shouldn't be Erubetie's to shoulder alone, but also Alice, the other HK, and everyone else.  The environment is valued and essential to everyone and not just Erubetie, the Slimes, and the humans.  Again, this is another example of the issue I have with the lack of intervention from Alice and the other HK.  There's also when Erubetie would go to the extreme end of blowing up Hellgondo in order to kill Luka, but oddly enough, even that doesn't bother me too much.  It fits perfectly with the despair that Erubetie had to endure, as well as how broken her mind is, considering that she is made of 10000 conflicting minds; I'm surprised that she's as stable as she is.  The only real problem I have is how her personality does a quick 180-turn at the end.  I really hate in every stories, where you have the negative characters who learn a lesson and do a 180-turn in their behaviors.  I understand that when her own suboordinate betrays her, it impacted her greatly, but what the heck happened to one of her 10000 minds that bore hostility towards the humans?  Did they suddenly die out while the other personalities took place?  My main point with this character is that she has the more believable and interesting character and struggle.  Because of this, it serves to make me dislike the other HK even more.  Seriously, Alma and Tamamo acted surprised when Erubetie was about to go off the deep end.  Did they really not care much for Erubetie to get to know just how unstable she is?  Did they really not care for the plight she and her race are going through in that they would rather let her do her own thing while the problem will never be solved?  Oh, but we haven't even touched the biggest issue with the HK I have the most beef with.


 * Alma Elma.  Why, oh why does she even exist in this game?  Why is she part of the HK, whose duties are to follow the Monster Lord's orders and assist with the human/Monster coexistence, when she always does her own thing, not caring who gets hurt or killed?  Why is she killing even innocent people that aren't even hurting the Monster Girls (don't tell me that she hasn't killed the fisherman she runs into.  The only way they would meet is if they were out in the middle of the sea, which is caught in the storm or in Monster Girl-infested areas.)?  Why does she kill Luka in their last fight, even though it's clear that he isn't trying to kill her or any other Monster Girls?  Why are the others letting her slack off in her duties while the likes of Tamamo, Alice, and Luka do the job they're supposed to do?  Honestly, I have not seen one positive interaction with her, aside from how she teaches Luka how to use the wind properly.  In all the scenes that involves her, even as an H-game, I didn't get turned on at all by her words and behavior.  She's no different than any other Monster Girls in the way that they behave.  The only time she ever came close to being remotely interesting is when she stated that her mother once called her a "failure of a Succubus."  Hello?  Why isn't the game expanding on that?  Why aren't we delving into what makes her character?  Why isn't this game taking advantage of a character who has a lot of cons against her that could be explained if they took the time to show some backstory?  Because of the lack of any true character, this game had made me hate Alma Elma.


 * This, and the other reasons I explained, is the biggest reason why I'm writing an AU.  These characters have so much potential that the writers didn't take advantage of, instead focusing on the fetish portion.  You can't have good character writing, but leave it unresolved so you can focus on the H portion of it.  That, and the fact that this is a VN, which should have alternate paths that don't end with all are bad endings except for one.  With these many characters, Luka should have some positive interactions, leading to the different endings that should be good endings, like Melty Blood and Fate/Stay Night.


 * There's more to talk about, but I only wanted to talk about the biggest issue I have.


 * Stay tuned for the fic ideas I will post in another blog.  The blog will have lots of spoilers to my fic, so be warned.